The Importance of Accountability
Testimonial
My name is Erin and I am a Seventh-day Adventist Christian. For the past two years I have been participating in a Christ cantered 12-step recovery step study that meets once a week. The study utilizes four workbooks with chapters that correspond to the twelve steps. During the week on our own time we answer the questions in the workbook and then at the meeting we go around the circle and each person gets a chance to share their answers while the others listen. Initially, I began attending the step study because I’d been injuring myself on and off for a period of about two years and did not want to stop because it made me feel better and I used self-injury to cope with feelings of anger, sadness, powerlessness, anxiety, and guilt. I felt that I would not choose to stop on my own, so I figured attending the group might help me stop. Attending the recovery group has many benefits, but the top three for me have been: accountability, support, and a sense of community and acceptance.
Accountability has probably been the most important factor that has stopped me from injuring on all occasions, except for a few, since I’ve been in recovery. Every time I get an urge to cause myself pain to keep myself from crying or feeling an uncomfortable emotion, I think about afterwards when I’d feel I should tell my parents, sponsor, and core group that I injured (because I’m accountable to them now). Every time, but three, this has been enough to stop me from giving in to the urge and I either contact my sponsor or use other healthy coping skills I’ve learned instead. Before recovery I was accountable, in my own mind, to no one because it was my secret. I felt I wasn’t hurting anyone as long as they didn’t know. Now they do know and it is a good thing.
Support and the sense of community and acceptance I receive from the group have also been essential to my recovery. I am currently working the steps for the third time, each time God has revealed more to me about myself and how I relate to Him and others. The deeper I go the more I grow. I’m thankful to God for bringing me to this recovery group and for the freedom I’ve found through recovery.