12 STEPS to Recovery — STEP #6
Focus on the Recovery Process
Wanting deliverance from the bondage of your sin addiction is not the same as being actually ready for it! The selfish and ungodly patterns uncovered in your earlier examination represents a lifetime of ingrained beliefs, attitudes, habits, thought patterns words, emotions, and behaviors This revelation revealed to you by the Holy Spirit, has been painful and uncomfortable. These old and uncomfortable patterns have been a part of your life ever since you can remember.
Your sin addiction seemed to define you as a person. How will you ever live without it? You may actually find it easier to continue in an unhappy, yet familiar way of life, than to face an unknown and uncertain future.
Truth Moment: The ungodly and destructive traits emanating from our sin addiction simply indicate how deeply rooted our sin is entrenched and how we desperately need Christ to root it out.
It is important to understand that your struggle with future challenges will not end after you have gained the victory over the sins you are now seeking to overcome. Ellen White writes, “We will often have to bow down and weep at the feet of Jesus because we make mistakes and are not perfect. Yet we are not to give up. God does not turn away from us even if we are overcome by the enemy. He does not leave us alone” (Steps to Jesus, p. 47). She also writes, “Character building is the work not of a day, nor a year, but a lifetime. The struggle for conquest over self, for holiness and heaven, is a lifelong struggle” (True Revival: The Church’s Greatest Need, p. 65).
Excerpted from Big Problem Bigger Solution: 12 Steps to Overcoming Your Addiction to Sin by Jerry Horton, available through LuLu Productions. Email: hortonj06@yahoo.com, used by permission of the author.
Since the age of 14 my life consisted of compulsive masturbation, drugs, topless bars, prostitutes, extra marital affairs, excessive drinking, and Internet porn. But I thought I could still manage my life. When the woman of my dreams broke up with me my life came to a halt. Never before had I experienced this much emotional pain and depression, and even my beautiful children 10 and 12 at the time could not lift me out of my dark hole. At this time I realized that love addiction was my primary addiction and like all the other addictions just a way to medicate the pain of not having had a loving affectionate relationship with my alcoholic father as a child and having been raised by a narcissistic mother.
My life had become unmanageable, I needed help. I had been seeing a psychologist for seven years, it was not enough. I went to many SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) meetings and got a sponsor. The pain was severe. Believing that healing from love addiction could take years I couldn’t take the pain. I saw a psychiatrist, however, my body couldn’t handle two different meds. I needed the pain to go away. I was introduced to Paul Coneff with Straight to the Heart Ministries. I liked the approach so I booked a trip to Dallas. Paul visited and prayed with me each day. I cried for 4 days, experienced a lot of healing and God revealed to me that the cause of all my addictions was the message I received throughout my life “I am not good enough”.
After Dallas the pain slowly receded. I continued to pray with Paul on a weekly basis, saw my psychologist, attended 4-5 SLAA meetings weekly and worked the steps with my sponsor. God has taken over my life. I pray daily for guidance. Recently I started going to AA meetings. All my addictions have come to a halt. My life has started back up. I have freedom, a sense of happiness I never experienced before. The greatest gift: I am present around my children and I am finally the role model I need to be so they will have a better chance to live a non addictive life.