TestimonyDethroned by Sin: My Nebuchadnezzar Experience (Part 1)
Focus on the Recovery Process
Suddenly, I was looking out over a lush and beautiful plain. Scattered across the vast greenery were innumerable glass rooms, each containing about 15 to 20 people. I was then gently ushered into one of them. We were awaiting our turn in going before the throne of God for judgment. I asked the angel who was attending to our group, “Am I going to pass the judgment and enter heaven’s gates?” Without equivocacy, the angel answered, “No.” My heart sank in utter despair. Here I was awaiting the final judgment. Absolutely no time was left; this was it. After a brief pause, the celestial being spoke again, saying, “But, I am not the final say – Jesus is.”
This was the dream I had the night before I made inappropriate advances on a medical patient of mine that resulted in termination from my position, a lengthy suspension of my professional licenses, a criminal charge of sexual battery, jail time, and a divorce from the woman to whom I had committed my life. I believe this dream was an explicit warning that I did not heed, like many other warnings I had had in prior years. Needless to say, this was a wakeup call for me. As I was reeling from this self-inflicted blow and trying to wade through the wreckage I had caused, a friend pointed out to me a bit of hard truth, saying, “This is a small price to pay for salvation.” At first, I thought, “Are you kidding me? Small price? I got my Master’s degree from a very prestigious university. That doesn’t mean squat anymore. I lost my job as a nurse practitioner and pediatric mental health specialist. I lost my licenses to practice. I have to serve time in jail. I now have a criminal record. I am getting a divorce. My son now has to experience a broken home. Small price?” But, the more I began to study God’s word, forge a deeper relationship with Him than I ever had before, and understand Jesus’ unfathomable love for sinners and infinite desire to save, I now agree: This is indeed a small price to pay for my salvation.