Article

Testimonial

After studying for pastoral ministry, I began a year of residency, as a hospital chaplain, at a health care facility in North America. During this year of ministry, I began to experience intense chest pains that led me to the Emergency department on several occasions. I initially thought that these pains might be heart-related issues; but as the doctor’s results proved un-alarming and the pains continued to happen regularly, I soon recognized, through helpful support, that I was dealing with an unrealistic compulsion of mine to be perfect.

This obsession largely affected my personhood and my pastoral ministry. My body had finally come to a point where it could no longer take these unrealistic goals of mine, causing the anxiety and panic attacks I had. After these distinct occurrences, I came to the end of myself and recognized that it was impossible to be perfect, whatever that meant. I was powerless to be perfect but Jesus’ perfection was enough to guarantee me a reconciled relationship with God. Recognizing this, a burden lifted over my shoulders as I experienced grace at a deeper dimension. I then trusted Jesus to be what I could never be before God. Though I may stumble in the future in my walk with Him I know that my salvation remains secure because Jesus has thankfully lived the life I could never live. Praise Him!

Betty