How Do I Know if Some Counseling Would Help?
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Oh man I thought that I had things pretty well headed in the right direction! I’ve started the 12 steps to recovery. I’ve admitted that there are things in my life I need to keep track of and clean up. I’ve even admitted to my family that I am trying to turn things around.
It seems like things are on the right track! But! But! But! I feel scared, stuck! I worry about messing up again (and I really don’t want that). I’ve got people counting on me. I am counting on me! I really want to make this work! Any Ideas? Any help out there?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
It could be. It just may be. It could be that talking regularly with a counselor may be just the thing to help make a difference! An extra set of ears and eyes can be a lifesaver at times. Someone who isn’t your significant other. Not your daughter. Not your mom or dad. Not the pastor. These people already know you. They have an idea of what you are going through. But you see them regularly. They depend on you. They have hopes for you.
Here’s where a good counselor comes in. It’s what they do all the time. Yep, they sit and listen to people talking through things, figuring out things, ALL THE TIME!
Here’s how they are different: They aren’t your moms. They aren’t your bosses. They aren’t your kids. They aren’t your wife or husband. They aren’t your girlfriends!
The counselor listens to what you show up with. They aren’t judgmental. They will find out what YOU WANT! A good counselor will listen and then ask you next week how things went. When did the cravings hit? How did you feel? How much did you use? How was it? How do you feel about this whole turn around thing?
A good counselor will talk with you about discouragement and will help you rethink just why you are trying to do this completely hard thing. He or she will help you rethink, rephrase, review the positives of *staying clean. He or she will help you talk through the strong reasons for staying clean and the down sides of returning.
A good counselor will help you think through and talk through the losses that have happened to you because of your addictive behavior. You will look at it through clear eyes. Then you will move on. No blaming. No pointing. Just strong plans for today and tomorrow and the weeks and months ahead.
Hey! How will I know if I need it? Here are several things to check. Does the help you are getting from programming such as 12 steps and community help, but not enough? A counselor may be what will make the difference. Am I having trouble keeping up at work?
Hey! How do I find a good counselor? Google counselors or psychologists and a list will come up in your community. Call them. Ask how much it is. Ask if your have insurance coverage. Go for a visit. Check them out. Be picky. Find someone you think you can connect with. Keep trying! Keep Going! You can’t get help if you don’t keep going.
Hey! How long will I have to go? Will a counselor put me on meds? You go as long as you and the counselor can see you really need it. Sometimes several months. Sometimes longer. No the counselor won’t put you on meds. If you need help with depression or anxiety he or she will refer you to your MD to check on whether a change in meds would be helpful.
Your counselor WILL ask you about any meds you may be taking and ask if you are taking them as prescribed.
SO DO I NEED A COUNSELOR IN ADDITION TO WHAT I’M ALREADY DOING?
You being successful in your track to ongoing stability in your life is what’s important. If you think from our little talk today that it may be helpful. . . . . Ask around and find a counselor who is good at what he or she does and loves doing it. Your success is what’s important!
Harold B. Smith, PsyD is a licensed psychologist practicing in Michigan
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*Editor’s note – “Staying clean” is a statement generally used in the recovery community with reference to staying drug free (not using or abusing). The term can also refer to avoiding the use of any addictive substance or behavior.