Article

Testimonial

My Brief Testimony: Recovery through Jesus Christ and His Power Experience (Past)
My addiction started unintentionally when I was four years old. I was oblivious about the dangers of what I saw and what I was feeling. As I stumbled upon more pictures and videos, my addiction escalated and my need for it became a daily craving. In time, I understood I was watching sexual acts. I was ashamed but retained the secret. I assumed I could stop but I failed repeatedly. I was filled with guilt, disgusted at myself and powerless. I drowned myself in denial; never admitting my addiction. As it progressed, I didn’t recognize what I was doing, why I did it and how each fall even really started. I was terrified at the idea of rehab or a support group.

Strength (Now)
My recovery started unintentionally when I enrolled into my Master’s program. I had pride myself on my academic success. I could pretend everything was okay as long as I was excelling. During my first weeks of classes, I realized I enrolled into God’s private rehab. One professor required our participation and support in her 12-step program. Another professor required us to honestly write about our deepest pains. Getting better was entangled with my academic success. I was forced to rehabilitate. I learned that my addiction was my coping mechanism for my childhood hurts and abuse. Without it, I was depressed and mildly delusional. My dependence on God increased as my walls of denial crumbled. God removed my cravings. Then, He introduced me to key people who helped in my recovery process. I found strength through their community.

Hope (For the Future)
My commitment to this journey of recovery is intentional. One of my recovery keys is knowing my purpose and reasons for sobriety. After my first semester, God explained my mission and promised to strengthen me. I hold Him accountable to do that and thus far, I have grown to trust His promise. I envision myself with a renewed mind that deals with problems in a healthy fashion. I have goals of encouraging other women and educating others about this serious addiction. Although I keep these goals in mind, my motivational yet balanced prayer is the serenity prayer. My addiction was not built in a day so my recovery won’t be completed in an hour. Yet, I can rely on God to grant me the serenity, the courage and the wisdom.

Brittany H.W