"There are only four kinds of people in the world. Those who have been caregivers. Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will be caregivers and those who will need a caregiver." Rosalyn Carter 

Can you recall the number of times that you have said to a friend or acquaintance, or they might have said to you, "I just admire the way you are caring for your spouse, Your Mom or Dad, or other relative"? 

However, the caregiver might look at it as, "I am just doing what the commandments say to honor my mother and father or my marriage vows; I promised to take care of my spouse in sickness and in health. Or taking care of an ailing family member is part of the "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!"  We just follow that Nike theme -" Just do it!" except, we do not just do it; we do it with love and compassion. 

Many caregivers do not realize that they are fitting the definition, because these are the things that they do; they provide essential support which might include assisting with personal hygiene, whether it is bathing, dressing, or helping the person to the toilet. They provide meals, often preparing for a special dietary requirement. Do not forget about medication management, scheduling, and transports to doctor appointments.  Managing household cleanliness and giving special attention to the person being cared for is all a part of the caregiver's daily routine AND that is often after they have worked an eight-hour shift on their paying job.  There are times that Caregivers find themselves running out of time, running on adrenaline, day after day after day. 

I hear you asking the question- But how can I help? Here are a few suggestions: 

Do not just say, "Let me know if you need anything." 

• Bring over dinner, frozen dishes, or send food delivery cards 

• Offer to help with laundry, housekeeping, or yardwork 

• Get their grocery list and offer to shop for them, do a pharmacy run, or assist with their mail  

• Offer to drive the care recipient to an appointment 

• Sit with the loved one so that the caregiver can have a few hours of respite 

• Be a listener WITHOUT offering unsolicited advice 

• Just stay in touch by sending a card, text, or a funny video 

• Encourage self-care while assuring them that self-care is a mandate…" love others AS you love yourself" 

• ASK if they have a special need that you can meet 

"Caregivers are often the casualties, the hidden victims. No one sees the sacrifices they make!"  Judith London